What would you do?

So I've been with my girlfriend for 3 and a half years now, I love her a lot, she's an amazing person and we get along really great.

Here is the problem as I see it....I turning 22 in a month, I've never slept with another girl and I always told myself I didn't want to be one of those guys who has a super long term relationship (god forbid, get married) with their high school (or in my case, cegep) sweetheart....

I'm moving out on Saturday, I'm starting university in September and I'm getting a new job soon so it's like my whole life is starting a new step, it's almost like a new life.

I want to date other girls, experience new stuff, be single for a while, sleep around, whatever, I don't know what I want, but I know I want to have the choice to do whatever I want. A choice I don't have now.

If I were to break up with her, it would crush her, she's really sweet and sensitive, I really don't want to break her heart.

And I've become friends with a lot guys I've met through her, guys I'd want to keep hanging out with, but I feel like it would just be to awkward. lol

What would you guys do?

You have to think about yourself first, if you want to move on, then that's what you have to do. Yes it will hurt her, but if your not happy, it's just what you have to do. It doesn't sound like the problem is within the relationship, so I don't see you talking to her and trying to fix the problems. Ultimately, you have to decide if you really love her and want to stay with her, or if you value more experimenting new things.

pourquoi tu voudrait changer si tu laime tant que ca ?

The best advice I can give you is to make sure you have your priorities straight (amazing person you get along with now vs. ocean of bitches you might not find so desireable), ask yourself all the necessary questions (to follow) and make sure you play out all the possible scenario's in your head.

What I'm getting at is, just make sure in two years you're not the guy distraught in a corner mumbling to himself "why was I so stupid, why did i give up something that was so.." bla bla you get the point.

In the meantime, start thinking up possible break-up routes,
Do you think you're good for her?
Do you think she's good for you?
Are you happy when you think about yourselves as a couple?

As for the friends you've met through her.. that could be a toss-up, so prepare for that too.

Anyway, this needs more input,
could be epin, so I'm gonna check back

my 2 cents = dont do it!

you're gonna cheat on her so might as well break it off now

+ how can someone actually hang with you for 3 years with your unexistant logical thought process

Well one of the main things is recently, our sex life has gone down hill. We both have only been with each other so it's getting repetitive, so that's one problem, but also, I don't know if I'm physically attracted to her anymore. She's consistently gained weight over the last 3 years and although I'm no athlete, it's kind of a bummer.

Ron, you're right, I don't want to end up alone in 10 years, but at the same time, I've never known anything else, how do I know I'm really happy?

It's like someone who has never owned a cellphone is happy without one, but pretty much anyone who has one now would never give it up.

logik23 said:

Well one of the main things is recently, our sex life has gone down hill. We both have only been with each other so it's getting repetitive, so that's one problem, but also, I don't know if I'm physically attracted to her anymore. She's consistently gained weight over the last 3 years and although I'm no athlete, it's kind of a bummer.

Ron, you're right, I don't want to end up alone in 10 years, but at the same time, I've never known anything else, how do I know I'm really happy?

It's like someone who has never owned a cellphone is happy without one, but pretty much anyone who has one now would never give it up.

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Part A-
i. May I suggest you spice shit up? Go with her to buy sex books, show her the porn you like, the moves you like, show her the whore you want her to be.. if that fails, THEN start thinking of the dump.
ii. About the gaining weight thing.. it happens sometimes.. She's with a guy she's comfortable with, you're with a girl you're comfortable with, so there's no real reason for you to be all impressing people, because you've already swooned her heart aww.

Part B-
i. You won't. It's the fun of life. (fun.. mystery.. to each his own definition lol)

Someone who has a cellphone NOW might not give it up, but they won't go changing cellphones every year because they're unhappy with it..

no wait..

maybe the cellphone was a bad analogy lol

You'll always wonder "what if" and I don't think that's fair to you OR her. If your heart isn't fully in it then there's no faking it. Move on, experience other things. You might regret it in the future but at least you'll know. And the way I see it is if you broke up with her because you weren't completely happy, then it just wasn't the right girl or time for you.

logik23 said:

I don't know if I'm physically attracted to her anymore.

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In all honesty, that's the most important thing. I know it sounds shallow, but it's true. Everything else is really important, but it's kind of what draws you in in the first place.

If that's not there, then I say move on.


Buuuuttttt, if you're just dumping her to **** some whores, then I say don't do it because 6 months from now you'll be thinking that you ruined your chance to be happy with a girl that you loved

My cousin is 26 and she's marrying her first and only boyfriend she met at 17... it's pretty awesome imo.

Ron Popeil 5un4 said:

Part A-
i. May I suggest you spice shit up? Go with her to buy sex books, show her the porn you like, the moves you like, show her the whore you want her to be.. if that fails, THEN start thinking of the dump.
ii. About the gaining weight thing.. it happens sometimes.. She's with a guy she's comfortable with, you're with a girl you're comfortable with, so there's no real reason for you to be all impressing people, because you've already swooned her heart aww.

Part B-
i. You won't. It's the fun of life. (fun.. mystery.. to each his own definition lol)

Someone who has a cellphone NOW might not give it up, but they won't go changing cellphones every year because they're unhappy with it..

no wait..

maybe the cellphone was a bad analogy lol

Click to expand...

Excellent post!

However, it does seem like you're getting bored of the girl. In this situation, you have two basic options; either spice things up completely with your current girlfriend or simply tell her the truth and break it off.

Option 1: Spicing things up!

But ATR90, how should I spice things up with her? Well, logik23, why don't you fly out to Europe or somewhere with her? Try new things, see new places... it may be a VERY worthwhile investment if you can afford it.

Option 2: It's not you; it's me.

But ATR90, I don't want to break her heart! Well, logik23, have you ever considered she may feel the same way? Girls, even the cute and sensitive ones, get bored. However, she may be much too sensitive to do something about it. Perhaps she's just hoping for things to get better soon.

well i have no job (actually 3 days left at my current job then no job), no money, im moving out in 5 days and i have debts

this is not the time for european getaways lol

Well thanks for all the input! I appreciate it.

Next September she is going to Spain for 6 months or 12 for school, I wish it was this September, it would make things so much easier....

Step back and ask yourself.. Do you wanna fix it or not? If you are unhappy and don't want to fix it, then it's time to move on. Don't wait around unhappy for a year just for a window. Your life is yours, so you decide how it tuns out (sorry if that was generic, but it applies)

The problem is that you're truely not going to have the answer until you do it, and at that point it will probably be too late.

I'm just going to throw out a little personal experiance that hopefully benefits you in the end.. I know its hard looking around at all the "players" that are getting a diffrent chick every weekend at the bar.. it seems like they're having the time of their lives. But in reality, they're just as stuck up and lost in life as the chicks they're picking up. You have something that some people would literally die for. Its so hard these days to find someone not only compatable with you, but someone you can be truely comfortable with, enjoy their time, be able to hang out with eachother's friends..

I know once you get your own place, you're going to start to think a lot of how you could be having lots of girls in your bed now that there's no rents around..

its really a total pain in the ass because there's no real answer for you. You break up with her, she's going to get hurt and things will NEVER be the same, no matter what the outcome is. You may regret it, you may actually enjoy the change you forced upon yourself, who knows, you're the only one that could know that. but you can only know it by doing..

Personally, I would say you need to find a way to be happy with what you have. It sounds like you're getting onto the materialistic roller coaster that just leads to you wondering years down the road if it was really worth it in the end, because it usually isnt.

Just so you know, I'm 26, but I've done the same thing. I regretted it. lucky for me I found someone that makes me very happy, but it was one hell of a chance that I took cause I was miserable for some time.

"Don't do it man!"

Honestly, is it worth all the hassle for the STD's and the girls that just want you to buy them a drink in hopes of getting drunk? If she's a good girl and convinced that she is good, I say keep her.

my 2 cents.

I understand what you are all saying, I just think I'm to young to settle down, if I was 30, it would be a whole different story, but I'm just 21 for god's sake! lol

Anyways, for now I have other things to worry about I guess. I'll just keep being happy with my routine.

as you get older, good women are harder to find. If you guys are good together then why not stay together? f*cking just for the sake of f*cking becomes tiresome and as mentioned you don't know if you're gonna catch some nasty STD and get stuck with it for the rest of your life

I dont get how you guys do it! I havent been with a girl for longer than 18 months and I thought I was missing out on life..

props to you logik, I'm just a bad boyfriend lol

And don't think that because you're single you'll go out and bang all them hoes in the club and be a man whore, sleep with a different girl every night and have 3 somes every weekend.
You might miss the stupid cuddling and having a nice diner with your gf and shit.
I've been through that man, it's hard and it sucks but you gotta make a choice. I dumped my ex-gf because I just didn't like her anymore. It took me a while to realize that.. A un certain point tu te dis que tu l'aimes, mais step back et poses toi les vraies questions..
Tu restes tu avec juste pour l'habitude?
Parce que tu l'aimes vraiment?
Parce que t'as peur de pas trouver mieux?
De mon bord les 2 ont a réalisé que on restait surtout ensemble parce que veut veut pas, apres 1 an et demi avec la meme personne ca fuk ta routine un peu et ton mode de vie, toute change d'un jour a l'autre.
Désolé pour le changement de langue lol!

Fred.. said:

I dont get how you guys do it! I havent been with a girl for longer than 18 months and I thought I was missing out on life..

props to you logik, I'm just a bad boyfriend lol

And don't think that because you're single you'll go out and bang all them hoes in the club and be a man whore, sleep with a different girl every night and have 3 somes every weekend.
You might miss the stupid cuddling and having a nice diner with your gf and shit.
I've been through that man, it's hard and it sucks but you gotta make a choice. I dumped my ex-gf because I just didn't like her anymore. It took me a while to realize that.. A un certain point tu te dis que tu l'aimes, mais step back et poses toi les vraies questions..
Tu restes tu avec juste pour l'habitude?
Parce que tu l'aimes vraiment?
Parce que t'as peur de pas trouver mieux?
De mon bord les 2 ont a réalisé que on restait surtout ensemble parce que veut veut pas, apres 1 an et demi avec la meme personne ca fuk ta routine un peu et ton mode de vie, toute change d'un jour a l'autre.
Désolé pour le changement de langue lol!

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same shit here...

and damn right about the rest *tu*

just do it. u already made ur decision it seems like.

there's no "nice way" of breaking up.