- Chuck Norris doesn't train, he was born ready.
- The British invented football, Chuck Norris invented the British.
- When Chuck Norris is on the field there is no fair play, only Chuck Norris play.
- David Beckham changes his hair style so often in order not to be recognized by Chuck Norris.
- Sean Wright Phillips runs so fast because he is hunted by Chuck Norris' ghost.
- Chuck Norris can't score an auto-goal, both nets belong to him.
- The ball is round because Chuck Norris wants it so.
- If Chuck Norris would play football, Champions League would be called Chuck Norris and loosers League.
- Chuck Norris can miss live, but never on rerun. The ball doesn't make the same mistake twice.
- Chuck Norris doesn't get cards from the referees, the referees get cards from Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris' team never draws, nobody is equal to Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need a break between the halfs, the game needs a break from Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris' team wins many games 3-0 because the opponents refuse to come out of the locker room.
- The managers of the opponent teams call Chuck Norris before the games to ask him against whom he wants to play.
- Chuck Norris doesn't exchange t-shirts, he confiscates them all.
- Chuck Norris doesn't love football, football loves Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris plays, Cristiano Ronaldo stays in a corner and cries.