Trust Issues..

dans les relations de couple, quand la fille sent qu'elle a le dessus sur les émotions, et pas le contraire, elles en profitent ! Même inconsciemment.

Mets tes culottes, pis arrête de te dire dans ta tête ''si je la perds... si je la perds... je vais avoir tellement de petite pépeine''.

Quand ma blonde fait ou dit de quoi que j'aime pas et qui m'affecte, je lui dis en sacrament ! Comme un coup de chocker sur un pitbull. Si elle accepte pas, c'est qu'elle me respecte pas ! Si elle me respecte pas, j'ai aucune confiance en elle... NEXT ! Y'a TELLEMENT de filles partout, faut pas stresser avec sa.

Par contre, faut pas toujours être aussi raide que sa. Sa prend des câlins aussi. Comme j'ai déjà si bien lu dans un thread d'ici, dans une relation de couple c'est le gars qui mène le bal avec une bonne combinaison de cock-slap et de câlins.
 
MontrealB15 said:
I've read all your posts in this thread, and you seem to be insecure about yourself. When another poster suggested the same, you felt the need to prove yourself right away by listing what you considered your strong points.

Now, I may be wrong because, frankly, I don't know you at all, and don't get the wrong idea; I'm not trying to be a dickhead. What it comes down to is being true to yourself. I have a good buddy that is EXTREMELY insecure about himself and it has practically ruined his relationship. I'm only chiming in because after watching him ruin his chances at a normal life, I'd hate to see it happen to someone else.

You can't expect to have confidence in a relationship if you're constantly doubting the confidence you have in yourself. From what you've described, it seem as if you are quick to get territorial, and in consequence, things get out of hand. IMO in no relationship should either the man or woman be looking through each others' phone, email, facebook, etc... If you can't trust the person you're with, everything else you've built in a relationship is useless.

What would I do in your place?

Spend some time thinking about you. Pound back brews with your buddies, get away and get wasted. Burn a fattie with your best bud and talk about life. Work on your car, enjoy the sun, and do what makes you feel good. At 22 the last thing you should be doing is stressing over a relationship, when you've got your whole life ahead of you. Find peace man, and start feeling really good about everything.

What's a relationship for if not to make you happy? Ditch the bullshit books, and go talk to her straight up. Don't lose your cool and don't yell, just sit down with her and get the answers you need. Fap before, because, let's be honest, it's easy to take a girl back and see past her bullshit when all you can think about is getting your dick wet. Take it from there man, and if you truly believe what she says, make it work. If it all goes to shit, or you feel as if you can't trust her despite what she says, get out. There are millions of women out there, and if one won't truly love you for who you are, there's certainly another one who will.

Fuck stress and all the best to you man. Keep us posted, and, as I said, don't take me the wrong way. I'm not a psychologist, I'm just calling it as I see it. From one guy to another, do what makes you happy, and nothing else.[/QUOTE



I can see how it seems like I'm insecure I guess it's my height or something like I'm 5'3 she's 5'11 I'm competitive because of karate and stuff so maybe I'm always feeling at competition with others idk.. But I will talk with her calmly and make things more visible as stated previously keeping this to myself won't help. Sorry for the edit I just noticed what I wrote before made absolutely no sense. Damn htc one v...

I don't smoke nor drink I would usually just work out to clear my head or study Japanese but lately with work i haven't doing any of those. Thanks for your input ! It's appreciated
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Smoking and drinking aren't necessary, just as long as you can kick back and laugh once in a while. I've been in a relationship for almost five years, and, as much as I have no regrets, it wouldn't be possible if I didn't make time for myself. You can love somebody, but, in the end, live for yourself; your happiness is all that matters, and you'll be a better partner subsequently.

Keep us posted man and good luck.
 
SAMURAI- said:
loll me and her at a friend`s birthday


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Crissssss juste a voir cette photo la c'est clair qu'elle te domine totalement...........met tes culotte et photo dudit ''that ass''

Al
 
Samurai, I am going to speak to you like a friend and I mean absolutely no disrespect to you and your girlfriend. Some things you should think about:

-Your girl seems like the kind of girl who gains her self-confidence by getting attention from other guys. Doesn't make her a hoe, but some girls need this for their own insecurities. You need to ask yourself if this is the kind of girl you are looking for, and if you can handle dating someone like this. Some guys don't even realize it, but other guys will lose their mind over this.

-If your girl is texting a haitian that calls her mami, don't shit on the guy. It is not his fault, it is an issue between you and your girl. You need to ask yourself why he feels comfortable speaking to her that way, and also see how she handles it. If she isn't being distant, time for you to be alpha and kick her out.

-This girl sounds like she makes you very insecure. It could be because she is attractive, loves attention from guys, the way she dresses, or talks to G-Unit wannabees. Whatever it is, it doesn't look like it fits with what you are looking for in your relationship. I'm sure with other kinds of girls you could be 100% in charge, but this one looks like she is walking all over you because you are allowing her to.

-You are the woman in your relationship. You shouldn't read relationship books, especially not at 22. She is doing her thing and not giving a shit, while you are stressing over your relationship. She will see your stress and insecurity and it will make her less attracted to you.

-Remember, that she fell for you. Stop being a bitch and man-up, or leave her and work on yourself for a bit. No girl is going to stay with you if you have trust and confidence issues, and if she does she probably has her own issues and will drive you nuts.

Again, no disrespect or personal insults. You sound like a good man that is caught in a shitty spot. If you want to go for a beer there are plenty of MR members that have been in your shoes and will help you out.
 
RickRoss said:
Samurai, I am going to speak to you like a friend and I mean absolutely no disrespect to you and your girlfriend. Some things you should think about:

-Your girl seems like the kind of girl who gains her self-confidence by getting attention from other guys. Doesn't make her a hoe, but some girls need this for their own insecurities. You need to ask yourself if this is the kind of girl you are looking for, and if you can handle dating someone like this. Some guys don't even realize it, but other guys will lose their mind over this.

-If your girl is texting a haitian that calls her mami, don't shit on the guy. It is not his fault, it is an issue between you and your girl. You need to ask yourself why he feels comfortable speaking to her that way, and also see how she handles it. If she isn't being distant, time for you to be alpha and kick her out.

-This girl sounds like she makes you very insecure. It could be because she is attractive, loves attention from guys, the way she dresses, or talks to G-Unit wannabees. Whatever it is, it doesn't look like it fits with what you are looking for in your relationship. I'm sure with other kinds of girls you could be 100% in charge, but this one looks like she is walking all over you because you are allowing her to.

-You are the woman in your relationship. You shouldn't read relationship books, especially not at 22. She is doing her thing and not giving a shit, while you are stressing over your relationship. She will see your stress and insecurity and it will make her less attracted to you.

-Remember, that she fell for you. Stop being a bitch and man-up, or leave her and work on yourself for a bit. No girl is going to stay with you if you have trust and confidence issues, and if she does she probably has her own issues and will drive you nuts.

Again, no disrespect or personal insults. You sound like a good man that is caught in a shitty spot. If you want to go for a beer there are plenty of MR members that have been in your shoes and will help you out.
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Thanks a lot for your input its appreciated!
 
Update: I told her I'm done reading that book and im also done being the girl of the relationship. She says she wanted me to be the one who was scared of losing her because she feels that's what she's doing...

I explained her my point of view and she explained hers. Turns out we've both been blind a bit to the changes we've been trying to put in. But i stood my ground and will not be reading the book or.nagging her about the things she does I told her if it doesn't change I will simply take mmy things and go.

I think she knows just how serious this is now and will actually start showing.me.some differences. She evwn seen this thread so she knows where I stand.

Ball is in her court now.
 
Man I was reading you're stuff and I was like man this sounds like him...then you wrote you're black I'm. Like now way no it's him...

Look at the nick name... Samourai it's him for sure now and finally the picture :p

Power of facebook haha

Anyway I know how you feel man been through this shit....

Like others said, keep your ground because if you leave her enough room to start playing with your mind then chances you're going to end up to be the one in pain :(

I think you did great telling her exactly were you stand, sometime it ain't easy telling the other one, you don't want to start a war or hurt her and finding the right word can be hard too.

Anyway keep us updated bro


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terribleone said:
Man I was reading you're stuff and I was like man this sounds like him...then you wrote you're black I'm. Like now way no it's him...

Look at the nick name... Samourai it's him for sure now and finally the picture :p

Power of facebook haha

Anyway I know how you feel man been through this shit....

Like others said, keep your ground because if you leave her enough room to start playing with your mind then chances you're going to end up to be the one in pain :(

I think you did great telling her exactly were you stand, sometime it ain't easy telling the other one, you don't want to start a war or hurt her and finding the right word can be hard too.

Anyway keep us updated bro


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Its funny I've turned to Mr for pointers ahaha I'll keep you posted bruh
 
Wait a minute, you hooked up with a girl that wears tight shit, tramp stamps, a tongue ring and went through a ghetto star phase and just now you realize that she might not be girlfriend material?

I don't know you, or her, but this sounds like a familiar story that we hear a lot. "I'll get serious with her then try to change her". Great recipy for a good mind fuck.

It's hard to tell, just this week my best friend who has 2 kids (2 years old and one just 3months old) caught his GF (who everyone thaught was a great and bright girl) flirting on facebook. The bitch is 24 so she's young but it's increasingly hard to tell. You gotta know the person through and through and that can take a while.

If you like her, I say stay with her and wait longer for trust to build. If you still have issues after say 6 months then reconsider, if not then she might be a good call.

Honesty is the basis of any relationship, then anal and money. In that order.
 
ThePapi said:
It's hard to tell, just this week my best friend who has 2 kids (2 years old and one just 3months old) caught his GF (who everyone thaught was a great and bright girl) flirting on facebook. The bitch is 24 so she's young but it's increasingly hard to tell. You gotta know the person through and through and that can take a while..
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Don't want to hijack the OP's thread, but what happened with your buddy? What did he end up doing, etc?
 
ThePapi said:
Wait a minute, you hooked up with a girl that wears tight shit, tramp stamps, a tongue ring and went through a ghetto star phase and just now you realize that she might not be girlfriend material?

I don't know you, or her, but this sounds like a familiar story that we hear a lot. "I'll get serious with her then try to change her". Great recipy for a good mind fuck.

It's hard to tell, just this week my best friend who has 2 kids (2 years old and one just 3months old) caught his GF (who everyone thaught was a great and bright girl) flirting on facebook. The bitch is 24 so she's young but it's increasingly hard to tell. You gotta know the person through and through and that can take a while.

If you like her, I say stay with her and wait longer for trust to build. If you still have issues after say 6 months then reconsider, if not then she might be a good call.

Honesty is the basis of any relationship, then anal and money. In that order.
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I never went through a ghetto phase I fell for her because I seen that she was different from what I thought for the most part. She just wanted to fit in with her crowd I guess. I told her I'm not breaking up I'm just seriously looking at making things work out like i previously stated ik not too interested in going to meet a new girl, like I've met my girl's family and everything its more than just a joke to her that's for sure. But it could be better like a lot of arguments could easily be avoided with equal effort on both parts
 
Hey I just wanted to say thanks to the people who dropped in to comment and give some advice. I'm having the same problems as the OP but I've been holding it for myself. My way of thinking was completely changed after my past experience with my ex-gf.

It's really hard not to think a certain way as soon as something really small comes up. The past still haunts my mind and I hate my ex for it like there is no tomorrow.

I need to put that behind me and bury it.
 
SAMURAI- said:
I never went through a ghetto phase
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I didn't say that you went through a ghetto star phase, I was talking about her.

SAMURAI- said:
I never went through a ghetto phase I fell for her because I seen that she was different from what I thought for the most part. She just wanted to fit in with her crowd I guess. I told her I'm not breaking up I'm just seriously looking at making things work out like i previously stated ik not too interested in going to meet a new girl, like I've met my girl's family and everything its more than just a joke to her that's for sure. But it could be better like a lot of arguments could easily be avoided with equal effort on both parts
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Do you argue a lot because she makes you jealous?

I'm NOT trying to talk you down, just asking the real questions. I had to deal with jealousy issues too in the past.
 
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D0MZE said:
Don't want to hijack the OP's thread, but what happened with your buddy? What did he end up doing, etc?
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It lasted for two weeks before he caught her ass because she leaves all her shit permanently logged on her laptop. Friend opens up laptop, screen comes on and the first thing he sees is half a sentence about the "heat of your body". Starts going through and notices facebook conversation being updated as he is reading it.

Cliffs : The bitch is at work, chatting it up with the guy on facebook while my best friend is following her conversation live on her laptop at home while taking a shit. So yeah, that's how he found out.

The girl is young, so he went full retard on her and guilt tripped her and scared her by asking his boss for a transfer in another city the next day and all. You should've seen her. It's like in an instant she knew that she would end up being "That girl". 25 years old. Two kids. Single mom, reason being facebook.

She loves him, but after having a second baby she needed her ego patted down through Facebook by some other guy she never met since high school. He wanted more but she turned him down repeatedly. I've seen the conversations.

She just enjoyed the attention but after getting caught and everyone (including her own parents) whipping her mind around like a tourniquet, she understands that what seemed like harmless play to her almost destroyed her life, so she'll stay put. He still does not trust her fully, and it's gonna take a while to patch that shit up, but she asked for it and is now crawling on the floor with a short leash because of it.

My friend will stay for the kids, which I think is the right thing to do, although I would dump my GF in an instant if she did the same because I don't have kids with her.
 
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