Trust Issues..

ThePapi said:
It lasted for two weeks before he caught her ass because she leaves all her shit permanently logged on her laptop. Friend opens up laptop, screen comes on and the first thing he sees is half a sentence about the "heat of your body". Starts going through and notices facebook conversation being updated as he is reading it.

Cliffs : The bitch is at work, chatting it up with the guy on facebook while my best friend is following her conversation live on her laptop at home while taking a shit. So yeah, that's how he found out.

The girl is young, so he went full retard on her and guilt tripped her and scared her by asking his boss for a transfer in another city the next day and all. You should've seen her. It's like in an instant she knew that she would end up being "That girl". 25 years old. Two kids. Single mom, reason being facebook.

She loves him, but after having a second baby she needed her ego patted down through Facebook by some other guy she never met since high school. He wanted more but she turned him down repeatedly. I've seen the conversations.

She just enjoyed the attention but after getting caught and everyone (including her own parents) whipping her mind around like a tourniquet, she understands that what seemed like harmless play to her almost destroyed her life, so she'll stay put. He still does not trust her fully, and it's gonna take a while to patch that shit up, but she asked for it and is now crawling on the floor with a short leash because of it.

My friend will stay for the kids, which I think is the right thing to do, although I would dump my GF in an instant if she did the same because I don't have kids with her.
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HAHAHHA HAHAHAH . Her name, it starts with an "J"?
 
SAMURAI- said:
I never went through a ghetto phase I fell for her because I seen that she was different from what I thought for the most part. She just wanted to fit in with her crowd I guess. I told her I'm not breaking up I'm just seriously looking at making things work out like i previously stated ik not too interested in going to meet a new girl, like I've met my girl's family and everything its more than just a joke to her that's for sure. But it could be better like a lot of arguments could easily be avoided with equal effort on both parts
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quick update : things are going great! sat down spent a good 5 hours JUST talking no screaming no leaving no late night highway pulls lol... turns out there was more behind both our behaviors - work stress, rent stress, life stress. not enough working out too much working. not enough couple time too much work time. so now we set time aside and things have been getting better ever since.

thanks for all your input its really helped i needed different point of views on things!
 
So you've spent 5 hours talking, then 1 day later you think things have never been as good ever since ?? Damn, give it some time ...
 
almostock said:
So you've spent 5 hours talking, then 1 day later you think things have never been as good ever since ?? Damn, give it some time ...
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Correction. As stated I think things are going good not omg its the best ever in a few hours no way man I know this will take time.
 
All very good advice in this thread.

I'll throw this out there; probably due to your age, it seems to me that there is a bit of "puppy love" syndrome that you are exhibiting. It's important for you to establish clean, open, clear, RESPECTFUL lines of communication, and that you both adhere and understand this; anything less, I would consider as a very serious red flag.
 
RickRoss said:
Samurai, I am going to speak to you like a friend and I mean absolutely no disrespect to you and your girlfriend. Some things you should think about:

-Your girl seems like the kind of girl who gains her self-confidence by getting attention from other guys. Doesn't make her a hoe, but some girls need this for their own insecurities. You need to ask yourself if this is the kind of girl you are looking for, and if you can handle dating someone like this. Some guys don't even realize it, but other guys will lose their mind over this.

-If your girl is texting a haitian that calls her mami, don't shit on the guy. It is not his fault, it is an issue between you and your girl. You need to ask yourself why he feels comfortable speaking to her that way, and also see how she handles it. If she isn't being distant, time for you to be alpha and kick her out.

-This girl sounds like she makes you very insecure. It could be because she is attractive, loves attention from guys, the way she dresses, or talks to G-Unit wannabees. Whatever it is, it doesn't look like it fits with what you are looking for in your relationship. I'm sure with other kinds of girls you could be 100% in charge, but this one looks like she is walking all over you because you are allowing her to.

-You are the woman in your relationship. You shouldn't read relationship books, especially not at 22. She is doing her thing and not giving a shit, while you are stressing over your relationship. She will see your stress and insecurity and it will make her less attracted to you.

-Remember, that she fell for you. Stop being a bitch and man-up, or leave her and work on yourself for a bit. No girl is going to stay with you if you have trust and confidence issues, and if she does she probably has her own issues and will drive you nuts.

Again, no disrespect or personal insults. You sound like a good man that is caught in a shitty spot. If you want to go for a beer there are plenty of MR members that have been in your shoes and will help you out.
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Brilliant post, bang on at every point.

The girl likes you, obviously, and losing your mind over a phone call is a very bad impulsive and controlling move that just flatout says "I'm afraid to lose you to someone else cause I don't think I deserve you."

Granted, I have no idea what mami means but when I was a kid I used to call my grandmother that so I wouldn't call a girl mami if I was interested in a hike down her pants

She likes you man, she talks about love and all that, so calm down and get to know what you want and if she is the kind of girl that has it in store for you.
 
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