God damn it, guess who will be a Dad!

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Brat said:
Because the kid didnt ask to be conceived. It was the mistake of two people and because of that he doesnt deserve to be brought up in a split family who is NOT ready for a kid.
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He doesn't deserve to NOT live. Either a broken family or not, it's like saying "we should just have all the pregnant women in Africa aborted cause there's such a high risk of HIV and not surviving past 40" (i don't know if that's true, just using it as an example.)

I'm not trying to convince anyone that abortion is bad, but people give the response of "DAMN GET THAT ABORTED RIGHT AWAY" as if we are allowed to just take a life away. How about all those who were born, and then the family was split up a year after; should they just be killed because the family broke apart?

To me, having conceived a child, BOTH parents should take responsibility for what they've done; mistake or not, s/he was still conceived, and should also have the right to be born.

He can ask her for an abortion if he likes, but to me, I think it's wrong. That's all, not trying to piss anyone off, but this is a discussion forum, and that's what I'm doing (discussing).
 
Dude, i donno to feel sorry or to congratulate you. In the end, i wish you the best and hope you make the best decision for yourself.




Aka: Run away.
 
SilverGTS said:
Turns out positive, both of em, so as of now, looks like 9 months down the road I' ll be a Dad. Not that I really mind it but I think that I am not ready for that kind of stuff, especially that I just started dating someone, it will be hard to tell her few months down the road.
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First of all I'd like to say that I know what you are going through and it's a pretty rough stage in your life, be very careful and think over your choices sevral times before making them.

I do think you are heading towards two problems, the first being the child problem and the second, (from what I gather) will be from your current girl friend.. When you will tell her about the child you had with the gas station clerk, and the fact that you probably cheated on her with the other girl, I doubt that relationship will go on any longer... your better off ending it with her now by being honest then waiting it off and making her get really attached, this will cause for a harder break up or and can cause you more problems.

Now back on the child topic, get an abortion, forget what the other guy is saying above my reply about the right to live and all that BS.. that thing doesn't have feelings, it's a tiny spec that won't really give anything for sevral months.. by getting an abortion you will ensure you have a better future..for you and the girl plus the child won't have to grow up in an unstable situation. I'm not saying it's ok to make kids left and right and just get abortions, what Im saying is that you used protection, an accident happened, it wasn't your fault... both you nor the girl want this child.. I find this situation is valid enough for an abortion. Don't ruine your life, the girls life and the childs life.

I wish you the best of luck *tu*
 
I dont know you well but from little talks we had before you left overseas, you came across as a very motivated, honest and hard working guy. I know that people like you seem to have more troubles in life than people that dont give a rats ass about anything, but its also people like you that can get through those things so much easier because they have the courrage and balls to get through it.

I dont doubt that you'll be able to pull through this with flying colours, keep your head up and fly straight.

and besides, even if you DID have the kid, I think that you'd enjoy it, young or not. I personally want a kid (not right away, but definatly in the future) and I think that would be the best thing in the world to have someone to teach, hold, love and cherish.

good luck bud.
 
Ihope it all works out for you in the end man,

In the words of Russell Peters; "Be A Man Do the right thing" and may I add "that will leave the two of you better off"

Good LUck again, to you and her
 
J-Money said:
He doesn't deserve to NOT live. Either a broken family or not, it's like saying "we should just have all the pregnant women in Africa aborted cause there's such a high risk of HIV and not surviving past 40" (i don't know if that's true, just using it as an example.)

I'm not trying to convince anyone that abortion is bad, but people give the response of "DAMN GET THAT ABORTED RIGHT AWAY" as if we are allowed to just take a life away. How about all those who were born, and then the family was split up a year after; should they just be killed because the family broke apart?

To me, having conceived a child, BOTH parents should take responsibility for what they've done; mistake or not, s/he was still conceived, and should also have the right to be born.

He can ask her for an abortion if he likes, but to me, I think it's wrong. That's all, not trying to piss anyone off, but this is a discussion forum, and that's what I'm doing (discussing).
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your so pathetic its not even bigger then _ right now so who cares lol
 
Ti Pit: just to clarify things up. The other girl that i am seeing right now, i am not going out with her, nothing ever happened, as of yet. The most important thing to me in a couple is fidelity and i would never, ever cheat on my GF!
 
first and foremost i must say that whatever decision you make ... no matter what it is.. you will suffer the consequences or she will suffer them afterwards

if you get an abotion
you will be off the hook but in many girls cases it does affect them on a psychological level.... so honestly since you are the other half of this issue you will have to take care of her and be there for her

if you dont get an abortion
must we really discuss what the issues will be not only for you two as parents but for the child






now my question to you is
this story was all fun and games when you wrote the first thread saying you met her out of the blue and banged and the condom broke


what if she had or has some kind of disease ?

this issue with the kid can be resolved one way or another
but what if she has HIV.... can that be resolved?
i hope you are more scared or that crossed your mind as well



this is why i suggest you stay away from one night stands
as much as i screw around alot myself.... ive never had a one night stand due to the very fact that the girl can be a carrier of some kind of disease and there goes your life.......

my 2 cents
 
You say you started dating someone recently. When did you start dating her? (Sorry, didn't read the whole thread).

I've always had a problem with casual sex, and one night stands. I think sex carries way too much responsibility to just go around banging people you met a few minutes ago. Sure everyone wants to have sex. It's just like drugs IMO, a temptation.

Now, another poor kid is born to parents that are too young, who have no history of loving each other, no stories of how they met, nothing like that. It's UNFAIR.
 
persianrider said:
i hope your kidding
thats the easiest way to get any disease

thats why homosexuals have the highest carrier rate
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But you don't get pregnant from it. Unless the end result dribbles out and down after. ;)

You can commence barfing now.
 
SilverGTS said:
we still gotta wait till week 3 for something like that if i am not mistaken.
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If she told you that, she's bullshitting. There's no reason to wait. If you're going to terminate the pregnancy, the sooner the better. You have more options now than you will as time goes on. (And I am an Ob/Gyn doctor, BTW. So I know what I'm talking about!)

As a "nice guy," you're going to get screwed badly. If you were a dick and basically didn't care, she'd understand that she's looking at a lifetime of single motherhood. I can guarantee she'd have gotten an abortion by now. But since you're being attentive, accomodating, and have expressed your willingness to "do the right thing," you've basically handed over your balls on a silver platter.

Now you've got her thinking, "Well, I'm a gas station attendant. My odds of hooking a quality guy are slim. I'm stuck banging customers in the washroom. Now this guy comes along. He seems decent, hardworking, responsible, etc. It's not like I'm going to find someone better. Might as well drag this on for a while and get him to commit. Either he marries me or he gives me child support for the rest of my life. Either way, I'm covered."

What they say aout nice guys finishing last is true in this case. By showing her that you're a push-over, you've set yourself up for this.

Emre
 
Thanx for the info Emre, i really apreciate.

so basically, i tell her to go now, i have to be an asshole or she ll want to keep it or something like that. i didnt look at it this way but it makes sense, thats for sure!
 
As a soldier, what his your career plan? Do you think to go off land again for a long time, I think this should be part of the discussion as well, does she know you are a soldier?

By the tone of the discussion, it look like you will not have that kid, I think it's the better decision.

But I think everybody will agree, that you got a big lesson of life with this!!!
 
wow, silverGTS , both of your thread you made about that story are still no.1 subject on mr in the off topic lounge.

C'est pas pour faire un concours je dis ca , mais je constate bel et bien qui a bcp de monde sur MR qui offre leur support, je trouve ca plutot genial et c'est p-etre en quelque sorte reconfortant pour toi dans cette situation plutot delicate :)
 
SilverGTS said:
Thanx for the info Emre, i really apreciate.
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If you have medical questions or need referrals for anything, just let me know. I'm not in Montreal anymore, but I'm still connected to the Ob/Gyn community at McGill. Feel free to PM or e-mail me if you need info.

SilverGTS said:
so basically, i tell her to go now, i have to be an asshole or she ll want to keep it or something like that. i didnt look at it this way but it makes sense, thats for sure!
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That's how I see it anyway. Right now, she's probably thinking that you're going to do what you can to make things work. Hell, you're even talking about dumping your current g.f. and maybe marrying this one! But consider this position:

a) You are totally against this pregnancy.
b) You do NOT accept that this is your kid and she'll have to go to court to prove that it is.
c) Even if she DOES prove it, you will have nothing to do with the kid.
d) You won't give her a dollar. If she wants money, then call my lawyer.
e) If you want the baby, then do whatever the hell you want but leave me out of it.
f) However, if she wants an abortion, then you would take care of it, make the appointment, drive her there, and of course pay for it.

Now, I'm not saying that this is what you should do. (God knows it would be hard for me to do that.) But, if you WERE to take this position and you REALLY believed in it and you were able to make that come across. Well, I'd bet that she'd react differently.

Emre
 
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